Those who are in the market for the services of a secret organization may well be tempted by the vulgar advertising of cut-rate spies. After all, international espionage does not come cheap, and many governments are trying to watch their budgets these days. However, as too many unhappy customers have discovered, espionage at bargain-basement prices is no bargain!

The worst offender is the derivatively named "TILE FOR LESS," an agency based in a squalid hut on the outskirts of the Las Vegas Strip. It preys on the many foreign dignitaries who flock to Las Vegas in a pathetic attempt to raise government funds through gambling, promising them spy service at half the price of the leading espionage organization (hence the impertinent half-globe logo shown in the photo to the right of this page).

To further dazzle prospective customers who come to call, the people at TILE FOR LESS add a few flashy cloak-and-dagger touches, such as a ridiculous password entry system taken straight from Prohibition-era stage farce (for one week it was actually "swordfish"), or their "Pyramid of Silence" security device that is actually a piece of patio furniture, or the male model they pass off as their star agent. Window-dressing, indeed! All of this silliness is meant to reassure the client that TILE FOR LESS knows the spy business. It is all very impressive to those desperately in need of covert force or intelligence, but short on cash and clear judgment.